Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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