walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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