It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
