Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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