shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Pooping to opera.
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