I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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