yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
