Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
