You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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