it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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