the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
