Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
