I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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