I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
