some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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