We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
two words...techno handjob
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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