He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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