you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
