so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
