Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
