you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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