I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
