There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
