Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
