I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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