brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
