is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
