There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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