Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Randomize
