uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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