i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
