I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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