so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
