We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
