Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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