I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
