i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
