I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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