Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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