Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
