my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
