32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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