My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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