i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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