is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
