So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
