walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
