he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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