One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
