Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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