so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
